Words of Green

Official website for author Tammy Green

Yoga

The Problem With Compassionate Empaths

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The term “empath” may be familiar to you in reference to the Myers-Briggs scale, indicating someone who is intuitive or feels things. However, if you’re an empath, it’s likely that you already know it.

I was an empath even as a small child but didn’t know it for many years because I wasn’t conscious of the term. It took me much longer than usual to realize that other people felt differently from how I felt, and that not everyone could understand my internal experience (or even wanted to). Eventually, however, I did realize this, and have spent the past decade trying to understand not only my own experiences, but empaths as a whole. Now, as an empath with several years of experience, I’m aware that there are advantages to being empathic. However, there are also pitfalls to empathy that can make life difficult for those who have this psychological trait. So, what are the cons of having heightened emotional awareness?

1) Overwhelming emotional experiences

One of the biggest challenges for empaths is learning how to handle the intensity of their own emotional experiences. This is due to a phenomenon called emotional contagion. Emotional contagion is defined as “the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize facial expressions, vocalizations, postures, and movements with those of another person”. In other words, empaths are likely to involuntarily take on the emotions of those around them. Empaths are able to accurately sense and distinguish between other people’s feelings, but it is difficult for them to prevent themselves from becoming overwhelmed by strong emotional experiences that are out of their control.

2) Lack of boundaries

An empath has a hard time differentiating between their own emotions and the emotions of others. This can lead to intense personal relationships, where they feel like everything is shared, but it can also cause them to neglect themselves because they think other people are more important than them.

3) Sensitivity to stimuli

Being an empath means that you are sensitive to stimuli of all sorts. They can be sensitive to light, sound, taste, or smell. Also, they may have a difficult time going out in public because of loud noises, unpleasant smells, and crowds of people.

4) Physical symptoms

Being an empath makes it hard for you to distinguish between your own emotions and those of other people, which leads to physical symptoms of diseases or other ailments. This can cause them to think they are sick even though they are perfectly healthy.

5) Mental overload

Being an empath means feeling everything that’s going on everywhere, which leads to mental overload and being overwhelmed by emotions. They have no way of selecting what to feel and the emotions can become too much and can cause them to shut down. Also, if the emotions and feelings of others are constantly coming into their area, it makes it very difficult for them to stay in a positive mindset. They may feel like they’re drowning in negativity and sadness, when there’s no reason for them to be sad. Mental overload and constant bombardment of emotions from those around them can also lead to emotional burnout and develop into severe anxiety for the empath. It’s not uncommon for empaths to also suffer from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) as a result of all the emotional damage they’ve accumulated throughout their lives. This can also result in an imbalance of serotonin, the feel-good chemical that helps keep our moods balanced. Without it, stress levels rise and depression becomes more likely. The best thing empaths can do is protect themselves with meditation, visualization techniques, and other protective methodologies. They can also avoid letting others take advantage of them, practice self-care routines, and even use their abilities to help heal others.

In conclusion, compassionate empaths are sensitive to energy and emotions. They can easily become overwhelmed by the negative feelings of others, which is why it’s important for them to monitor their exposure levels. In this article we’ve explored what a compassionate empath is, how they may experience life differently from other people, and some ways compassionately empathic individuals can protect themselves from being over-exposed to negativity.

To learn more about the adventures of a real-life empath, grab a copy of my book HERE.

Photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash

The Book Is Here!

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Living Without Skin: Everything I Never Knew About Fierce Vulnerability is finally here! Click on Buy the Book in the banner above to get your copy today, or find it anywhere books are sold!

Feeling vulnerable is frightening.
Being fiercely vulnerable is phenomenal.

Most of us spend a lifetime trying to avoid pain and insecurity while overlooking the power we inherently possess. What would you do differently with your life if you knew you were failsafe at birth?

If you’ve ever felt vulnerable, weak, or like a complete failure, you can transform those feelings into fierce superpowers.

Life can leave you feeling raw, naked, and skinless. Learning to live without skin can turn you into the superhero of your dreams!

Prepare for an extraordinary and sometimes humorous journey that begins with a child’s imagination and ends with an ordinary adult’s transformation on unexpected paths.

You’ll discover how embracing vulnerability can help you:
– Learn how to find and wear the skin you were created for.
– Uncover the core of your individual insecurities, and transform them into strength.
– Connect internally and externally to humanity-defining power in a personal and public environment.
– Heal from trauma so it isn’t passed to the next generation as culture.

Step out of your old skin. Be your own fierce hero.

Rip

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The year of ripping, of goodbye, death, of the word “cruel” and being able to say “you are not who I thought you were”, the year of sickness, when the whole world stopped. The year I broke open, and my guts spilled out onto the paper, into the earth, when I learned that spirit is larger than body, and bodies are fragile. Everyone this year tells me ‘your words resonate with me’, and minds are twisted – the veil between good and evil is opened. The year that slammed me into humanity/humility, stillness, laughter, softness in the corners found underneath the shadows and the swords. Skinless and raw, with scabs that have somehow become scars, and scars that have become beautiful mosaic tattoos on my soul. The year of feeling someone else’s pain, sitting with it, holding a hand, wiping a brow, cupping a face while a hurricane boils inside me. The year of drowning in powerlessness and worry while flowers bloom, the ozone clears, the air is cleaner and fresher than ever before in my lifetime, sadness and joy weave and wind throughout soul and heart like serpents and doves. The year of evolution, revolution, mixed with flour and butter and honey-the best birthday cake ever made for the earth, and I learned through loss what love really means. The year I found my place, and I belong.

Reflections

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A decade ago, starting life over.
Love, work, school, life.
The culmination of a few years of darkness.
Painfully shedding the self I had known for 40 years.
Moving, kicking and screaming, into the unknown ahead.

Midway to end, learning, growing. screaming, learning.
Graduating, working, parenting, travelling, learning.
New friends, new family, a soul mutt, a soul mate.
Writing, photographing, living, loving.

Ending the decade, letting go of people and things
no longer helping me grow.
Surviving the most excruciating, most rewarding
experience of my life.
Recognizing the necessity of every tear, every laugh,
every heartbreak, every soul-bursting moment.
I am not lost.
I am the phoenix that emerged from the fire.

And now, I will not use accomplishments to measure.
Only attributes – kindness, empathy, listening to hear.
The next half of my life, this new chapter,
I will see the phoenix fly.


~ Tammy Green

~ Photo by Aziz Acharki

Lessons In Training For A Marathon (Or Learning To Write As Art)

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“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” We’ve all heard the cliché describing the undertaking of anything that seems overwhelming. So it is with signing up for a writing course when you’ve never written anything for publication. Except it isn’t. Does fear of vulnerability, exposure, or failure exist at the prospect of eating an elephant?

Much like deciding to begin writing for actual readers, I set a goal four years ago to run a half marathon. I began training for it a full year in advance. I couldn’t run a complete mile without stopping when I began training. I hired a coach to help me make a plan, and reach my goal. My plan began with running one mile by running for thirty seconds and walking for two minutes in intervals until I reached the set distance. I thought I would die. 

At around the same time in my life, I heard encouragement from friends who read short excerpts of things I randomly posted on Facebook about how I should write for a career. I decided to set a goal of learning how to do so and exploring ways to make it financially viable as a retirement career. I didn’t really DO anything to make a plan for reaching that goal. But I thought a lot about it. 

Lesson learned: Setting goals for things that seem impossible create hope for dreams that could come true. It’s never too late to do it.

Three months into training for my half marathon, I had developed a routine for my weekly training miles. I would awaken at 4:30 a.m. on the days marked for running, and I would quickly dress and head out the door to get an hour logged. I had progressed to three mile sessions with running intervals of one minute runs and 1:30 minute walks. I joined a couple of running groups locally, and I signed up for local races. During the races, I learned that my average pace of 14 minutes per mile was dismally slow compared to others in my group. I felt discouraged and worked hard to improve. Most days sucked and it wasn’t easy.

My writing goal was still lying on the ground with no wings or plans to grow any.

Lesson learned: Making a commitment requires daily work. Following through is most important when the suck factor is overwhelming.

Six months into half marathon training, I learned that my consistency in following my routine was paying off. My pace had improved to 13 minutes per mile, and I discovered that I loved running in the rain. It felt exhilarating! My training plan began to include a long run on the weekend of varying distances of more than three miles that I was logging on a given day during the week. Most days sucked and it wasn’t easy. Occasionally I had a great run, and I was encouraged. But I was petrified of trying to run a longer distance than three miles. I will never forget the feeling that I had when I finished my first 10K! I was on top of the world, and I felt like I could do anything!

Oh, hello, writing dream. I’ll catch you later. I’ll pen a few poems here and some random thoughts there and call it a day.

Lesson learned: Hard work delivers a payoff. Naming a dream is not the same thing as working for a dream. 

The night before the half marathon, I was petrified. I’m not sure why. Maybe I thought I would die, or fail, and everyone would see that I’m a fraud. I’m not a real runner. I was still running intervals! That race was hard. Parts of it sucked. I felt discouraged. I questioned myself and my reasons for doing it. I finished my first half marathon in three hours and 15 minutes. I was most assuredly a real runner, and I had the heavy metal to prove it! I was invincible!

Writing? What writing? I’ll just wait for more inspiration.

Lesson learned: If I make a decision, I can make a plan. If I make a plan, I can be accountable. When I am accountable, the dream happens.

I set a goal to run a full marathon by the time I turned 50 years old. I signed up for the actual race almost a full year before the race date. I was petrified. I hired my coach again to help me make a plan and get there. I will be 51 years old one month before the race. I am training now. Most days suck, and my pace is actually slower than ever. Occasionally I have a great run, and I’m encouraged. I know what to do. 

I set a goal to begin writing for actual readers. I applied to Elephant Academy to learn techniques and make a plan. I know what to do. I have to devote time consistently to learning and practicing. I have to endure the suck to get to the great parts, and I am encouraged. I have to make a plan, and I have to be consistent.

Lesson learned: To reach any dream in life requires knowledge of elephant eating. Follow instructions. Be consistent. Practice. Endure the suck. Appreciate the great. One bite at a time.

How big is your elephant?

How My Dog Taught Me Yoga

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“Ahdo Mukha Shvanasana”. I can’t even say it. Which is probably a good indicator that I can’t even do it. At least not properly. 

But my dog can. 

Without even practicing.

Or even thinking about it.

Downward dog. Downward facing dog. Observing a 115 pound Great Dane do this truly makes one respect the art form. Large (but not too large) and graceful, this girl puts her big bucket head flat to the ground and gets the full stretch from her harlequin hued hamstrings. This is usually followed by a massive yawn and a groan that makes me laugh out loud. We’re talking about her groans, not mine. Mine aren’t that funny.

I’m training to run my first full marathon-26.2 miles of hellfire and brimstone to my feet, legs, and body. I do long runs on the weekends because I don’t have half a day during the week to voluntarily torture myself, not to mention another day and a half to recover from it. My masseuse suggested yoga to help stretch the muscles and keep my total body limber. Enter Downward Dog. Imagine lying flat on the ground in prone position. That was my first attempt at Downward Dog. Enter MY groans. Not funny at all.

How do dogs know this? How does living a simple, joyful life come so easy to them? Are they mystical creatures sent from another dimension to teach us how to live as better humans? Is that a rhetorical question? Here are 10 truths my dog has taught me about how to live.

1. Sleeping is everything. Take every opportunity you can to sleep. It works best when you can find a nice, shady spot in which to dig a hole and form your whole body into a ball that’s hole-sized. Utilize Downward Dog stretching upon awakening.

2. Enjoy food. Once you’ve found something you like, stick with it. Don’t eat the diet stuff. Just sniff it and walk away.

3. Treats are the best! Celebrate as often as possible for as many reasons as possible. Go pee outside. Come when you’re called. Sit occasionally. Bring the ball back. Sometimes lying down gets two!

4. Let people know what you’re feeling. Don’t wait to be asked if you need to go potty. Just go put your wet nose into someone’s hand. It doesn’t matter if it’s 2:00 a.m. 

5. Do what you want. If dragging trash from the bathroom can is your thing, do it repeatedly and with passion. Don’t let the naysayers bring you down.

6. Be enthusiastic. Going for a walk? Get into it. 

7. Keep your emotions in check until the timing is appropriate. No need to display shock at the turn of events in your life until the pizza delivery guy rings the doorbell. 

8. Stay in shape. Run like the wind after the ball when it’s thrown so you can let your person know exactly where it is while you wait for her to come pick it up, or, if you’re feeling festive, FETCH it! (See # 3.)

9. Size doesn’t matter. A friend’s Chihuahua will eat your head while my Great Dane hides from butterflies.

10. Be happy. Recognize how lucky you are to have people in your life who love you unconditionally.

It’s never easy balancing health living with responsibility. So often, we are pulled in so many different directions each day with work, family, socializing, and technology. Seriously, who can find the time to train for a marathon? Finding basic joyfulness in living can be a challenge at best, and can result in health issues at worst. Whether it’s exercising, spirituality, relationships, or mindfulness, dogs can teach us so much about living our best lives. Volunteer with a local pet rescue or Humane Society to walk dogs for an hour weekly, and learn Downward Dog for life.

Dog live about 12 years, and that’s why they discovered this brilliant philosophy. Because time is limited, there is no time to be unhappy. ~Mehmet Murat